knowing ones self worth

I have never known my Value Ive never known if I am worthy of anything. I Know I have doubted if people love me. I know that I feel like I dont deserve to be happy. I find My fiance getting sexual messeges from people he says are just friends I think thats ok because he treats me like I am always in the wrong. I find he has gay hook up apps in use with current messeges on his phone he says they are old even though the messeges are from today and yesterday so i let it go because im supposed to because he says im so lucky he is with me. I will neved do better than him. He is most likely right. Im old Im ugly Im fat I should be grateful he is with me. Why then Do I feel horrible? It doesnt matter he is having sex with other people he stays with me and I In fact should be grateful that he stays with me. this is the best I will ever do or have. Its fine. Time to bottle up these useless feelings and go to work. it doesnt matter and obviously no body cares so just keep pushing on..

Cassio

So for years and Years Ive been single I finally figured out why I was meant to move to Boston to find the person I intend to spend the rest of my Life with. His Name is Cassio. I fell hard and fast for him. Its not just a whirlwind romance its an Epic love. I cannot see my life without him. we fit we Match he is the component my life has been missing. He is the polar opposite of myself yet we fit. We dont have the same tastes he is extremely femme but he is that part of me I need he is 100% gentle which smooths my rough edges. I am not just enamored with him I genuinely love this man. He has a sas that is not afraid to show. All I want to do is spend my life showering him with love and kindness. he is soft where I am hard he is not embittered or jaded he is kind and optimistic. He is truly Amazing what else would he be to make me fall in love with him. he is so much so that I the person who believed would never find love found it in him. My heart is full my cup runneth over because he has graced my life with his presence. For this I am grateful for him I am grateful. I have been blessed...