I would like to sit with you for a moment to take a breath to be a friend. I Promote Safe sex I have for years I have every bit of paperwork On my diagnosis since the first time I was diagnosed. I am a longtime survivor of the virus. But I am also a Long time survivor of hate and discrimination. yet I am constantly feeling as though I have to defend Myself and against a member of my own Family. Its time to truly cut all ties she isn't my sister she is a stranger to me this is last time I shall ever allow her free rent in my head she truly hurt me for the very last time and she is in every way dead to me I pray she have a great life but not at my expense not anymore I am done shedding tears for someone who lies with no remorse and justifies her own actions without recourse. I have died and come back I am a walking living breathing miracle but I am Human and will not be treated like I am less than and she is better than I do not deserve this I have been doing my part to contribute and educate and be an advocate now to be treated like I am crap by someone born into my own bloodline no no more.
 I am a good person Or people from all over the world and people from all over would not have come literally to pray over me day in and day out while I was in my Coma. How dare someone call me a liar I never lie whats the damn point in it you always get caught. Life is a blessing we all take for granted yet I am here feeling the need to defend myself no no no more this will happen no more. For someone without even a GED to claim they are working On a BSN then quotes YouTube and other non reputable sites for they're information rather than an actual text book to cite as to what is wrong with everyone else well its laughable the sad thing is people actually believe the crap the lies not many but a few and that's enough. It pisses me off that people have shown up and my aunts and uncles houses looking for this relative she must have really done someone dirty to have people looking up who her relatives are and its kinda scary as well.Its hard to believe we were raised by the same people I turn out to be the man I am today while well we wont go there I pray for you is all i can say I'm done ever thinking we could be friends when every word that comes out of you is dripping with disdain and lies when your venomous and heartless at least I can Say I have a heart because I just had several surgeries on mine and people prayed for it to start working again people prayed I could breathe on my own again thousands of people litter ally so I know I am loved I have been hurt so much but i will never let you hurt me or my sisters again enough is enough I will not mention your name I know you stalk my blog I know you do your just that way but you know I have a better reason as to why I stopped blogging I wasn't going to fake school I wasn't lying to people I was in a Coma Fighting for my life and I am here and everyone is glad I am here my brain took a hit a hard one my heart my kidneys every single one of my organs I now have a pacemaker defibrillator in my chest but I am here and I have true people who love me so much they stayed with me round the clock praying for me or in the lobby or waiting rooms and even when the doctors were giving up they didn't they prayed over me they prayed for me they cried and said I am not ready to let you go Brother nephew friend I am here I love you please please stay with me I need you and I know you don't know that feeling why because you have never been there where you have people who really care for you that much to be at your side 24 hours a day if you rally needed them I have good friends and great sisters who never left me not for a second my little sister when she thought I wasn't going to make it she got so depressed but i came through and she kept going that's a sister someone who is there for you 24 hours a day if you need them they don't make up stories they love you unconditionally and that's why I have to let you go forever because you will never ever be that I let my love for you go I release you to no longer be my relation I will live on without you I have real family that loves me more than you ever could love anyone other than yourself yet I am the crazy one id rather be crazy that a Liar...
   Now as for today's message let those people go that are hurtful let those people go who want to do you harm love yourself more than anything and love will come to you in droves and never ever take anything for granted life is too precious a gift. Your body your decision make the right one Use a condom every time all it takes is one.. many blessings to you all mitakuye Oyasin 

Life as I see it

So I was in the Hospital for the last three weeks I had people from the world over Praying for me I had people come in round the clock to pray for me I was so blessed I am so blessed I have a good long life ahead of me I will be here A long long time. It was touch and go it wasn't nothing to do with my HIV it was my heart I have such a myriad of health issues well with my health issues and all i am going to be just fine I found out just how strong I am and how strong my Family is they prayed they needed strength for me and they found it within themselves through the creator you don't know how strong you are till you need strength you never though you had I have been here 34 years and by god I got through some really rough shit never once knowing that I could actually get through it. But I have managed every time they say I am a survivor no I'm not ready to go no where yet. and some people aren't ready for me to go yet so well as long as I am needed I am going wind up being here. So many people look for love like romantic love so much all the time well I haven't looked for that in years I don't need it. I got the best people in the world I got family friends amazing people in my life I got love I am not alone I am here I am strong I am healthy I am all that I am period and I am grateful for that which I have .Love the romantic kind isn't any damn thing i really need not now not ever I got more love in my life than I know what to do with trust I am gifted with nothing but Love.people don't know the blessings I have I have been so utterly blessed in my life that I know there  is no way I need anything else if it happens then it does ill be doubly and triply blessed.
 So for those people who have doubted in the past me and my strength my religious views or anything our ways are strong our people stronger they wouldn't let me go love is a powerful thing you need to know about and just how powerful love is its the most precious gift one can give my people showed tremendous love and support and prayed from all over to tell the truth you don't need physical locality to be there its a presence that is in the heart and the people who love me were with me in some way small or large there is the presence of those special people who love you more than anything .
so I have been on and off the phone today trying to figure a few things out I can tell you that I am doing what I always do thinking of others before myself why because that is who i am and will always be life is one amazing process I am going to be here a very goods long time and I can say allot of good things about so many people. In fact as its going to be a while till i can drive again I gifted my vehicle to my Aunt who really needs one. So as for being a saint no Ill never be that but a good person yeah that's something I can claim I am. I have spent a good deal of my life helping others and I will continue to do so every day of my life I will not take people and things for granted I will continue to live life to the very fullest and I will know that I have angles on my side life is not about self its about how you can benefit this world how you can continue to make it a better place for future generations as we do not inherit this earth from our ancestors but borrow it from our Children. so each day and every day I will be a good Child to my moms and aunts and family and I will be a good uncle to my nephew's nd nieces I will continue to be the good person I am for the rest of my life and if people can not handle my honesty my verver my good heart then screw them because this life is far too short to take anyone or anything for granted.