A day in my single life

I am Gay I am Native American And I am HIV Positive I sit and wonder is there romance out there for me? I mean sure everyone can find a one night stand everyone can find someone to have a friends with benefits program with but I am far too old for that any more. I am 33 years old and I just cant handle this not knowing if I am going to have some one to grow old with.Yes I know the chances of finding the one that one person that was made just for you is like one in six point 4 billion but I mean there is a chance right?I mean for every person out there there is that one special someone that the creator created just for them. I hear about it all the time I have witnessed it many times.I want that in my life I want to have that one special someone in my life...
I want the same thing everyone else wants to find a good person to spend the rest of their life with.Its not much I ma not asking for the unreasonable I am asking for something that everyone wants. I never expected that life would be easy or that it would be rainbows and sunshine. You know I don't have false expectations I don't expect to fall in love at first sight or expect more from people than they are willing to give me. But I do expect that I will find someone to love. To find someone to love and someone to love me in return.That's all I have ever wanted its all someone anyone ever really wants in this world.One day I will find that but i hate the in between time I hate waiting for something that is so far off in this world.Or rather something that feels so far away.
Well I never talk about relationships and such. It is so rare for me to speak on such things I guess I am just seriously tired of how life has been getting me down. Yeah I don't think anyone likes being alone.I think everyone wants to have some form of stability in their lives.No I am not going to be your Daddy No I am not going to be your Baby I want to be your world I want that someone to be my world..Its not allot to ask.I have an education I want someone who I can conversate with I don't want people to assume I am thinking something I am not I ma not jealous there is no reason for jealousy Why because if you want to be with me you will be with me if you want to love me you will love me if you want all of me you will ask for all of me you will not cheat on me you will not try to step out on me you will try everything in your power to be with me you will romance me you will try everything to be with me you will woo me you will put in the effort if you don't want to do that then oh well your not going to be worth my time and hence there will be no reason for jealousy I deserve the best because I am the best I will love you with every thing that is me I will stand by you when you need someone to to stand by you I will be a shoulder on which you can cry I will be your friend when you need one.I will be your foundation your rock and I expect the same in return.I don't put in effort where I see no effort being put in in return.
I guess everyone needs something you know I know I need someone in my life someone that will not hinder my personal growth I need someone in my life that will be beneficial to me not financially beneficial but emotionally I could care less about the money a man makes or what kind of damn car he drives I just need someone who is good kind loving like myself I am very much a great person. And I am praying I find someone like myself I know I am not perfect I have my flaws but I know that I am at my core a great and loving person.