saturday sept 17th 2011

Wow no special Title no special Subject to speak on I guess I have become average.My Levels well they aren't so good I am going to have to go and see about changing My meds.My heart well its not doing so good either my blood was way to thick I am seriously running the risk of throwing a clot any day.Stress Is well high right now I know I am not in the best Place but its a place and well i am really tired of people being douche bags.You know I just don't deal well with Idiots.
So I am really pretty much done in certain arena's of my life when I move from here and Into My own spot I am going to remain very single.I definitely Like the whole Living single thing I really do just me and my dogs no one else to worry about you know what I mean.I have enough to deal with as it is.I just really want my freedom my privacy and my solace. A place to call home a place where I am secure a place of my own.
And I am stubborn opinionated and I need to not have to worry all the time about things I say or have to deal with drunk idiots invading my personal space.to only have to worry about making a meal for myself at the end of the day and living a solitary life.I don't need to look after anyone else I don't want to look after anyone else I just want my own spot where I can be alone If I want to take my damn clothes off I can just take my clothes off If I want to sit in my living room naked all day I can do that .
I know it sounds crazy but I want to be alone I really fucking do its just what i know I need at the moment.I have no words of wisdom I just want some damn peace and quiet no 25 year old grown ass people arguing all day all nite like two little ass kids and me having to sit and listen to the shit, sorry I don't want to know why you think you are so much fucking better than the whole fucking world and why everyone else is so fucking stupid in fact I don't want to hear all your excuses for being a douche bag and a mooch.And I defiantly don't want to hear a grown ass man come into my house and try to fucking tell me I don't fucking do shit your lucky I am not the person I was 10 years ago cause you would not be alive today to tell your story telling me your loser ass does anything for anyone all talk no action motherfucker now that I got that bit of a vent out I am simply going to say ahhhhhhhhh.
Yeah My week has been eventful my month my year my life with out the events in my life I wouldn't be who I am today.HIV pos and still trying to Make the world a better place even when it feels as though everyone is dead set against me even when it feels like every asshole out there in the world has it seriously in for me....Well all is said and done I am single I am alive I am happy with who I am and I have been through allot worse in my life you know. So I walk forward and take in the new days and the new breath that I am given and I live for today because tomorrow May never come....