So Far I Am Still Here

 I know The title sounds a bit on the pessimistic side but I am not feeling well I have been having terrible sweats all day and its been a very chilly day. Living with chronic illness as well As my HIV is very Taxing at sometimes and I am always wondering to myself if I am still here for any reason any  reason at all then I get a phone call from someone writing a book and has asked me for some input so I guess I am still needed.Yet I find on days like this I tend to be a bit put off from the world in general especially when i am in so much Pain I am a total grouch but I can say today was still a gift a gift to see a new day a gift to be here in this world.
 I don't see myself Making my journey anytime in the near future I know I have a long way to go as long as I still have something to say and as long as my words reach at least one person I know I am getting the job done I am going to be here and doing this for a long while and I am proud of that.
 So just a bit of an update I have moved yet again its been rough but ultimately I am in a better place then I was and although I loved where I was there was just to much going on there for me to have to deal with on top of everything else. It is so hard to feel like I can just relax and everything will be aok cause it doesn't work like that not really life is never what you expect it to be and hardly ever fair I know i just have to play with the hand I was dealt and know in my heart that everything happens for a reason.
 I just wish these sweats and shakes would stop even for just one day if I could have a normal acting body that does what its suppose to do it would be great but well I gotta do what I gotta do with what I got. Its surprising to know who I can count on for things and the like Like Pre and Tabi and Deb all people who I can depend on in my darkest hours. Like I said life is utterly full of surprises.