Somedays feel like forever

So I got upset with my family recently some of it was unwarranted but I had so much going on still do its not easy with all of every thing going on I really scared my family. Not because of my HIV but due to my other health issues yet through it all we were still a family now out doesn't feel so much like it my sisters are do damn over protective and shit  it just makes me feel extremely Emasculated and they don't understand it I am more than of age and this is my life yet they sit here and judge me or tell me to do things as they want them don't and when i lash out because its too much for me to bear its all yeah see what i mean so I am right your unstable and such I feel like the only reason my life has truly become unmanageable is because I have two sisters that act as though they are mothers to me and Ill be damned if that's the case My mom is my mom that's that my sisters are my sisters and need to stop trying to control my life. SO I finally spoke Via E-mail to one of them and she was telling me how what I said really hurt her well I ma sorry I never ever held her Choices against her never threw it in her face and I never told her she shouldn't try to find a relationship no matter her mental health yet these are things she did to me and when I pointed it out she said she would not own that she MADE me do anything but never once did she own the PRESSURE she put me under. her own choices affect me same as the other sister their choices and the pressure they put On me although out of love is sometimes very misguided and I can SNAP Under it I am after all only human yes I am writing about daily life things that just go on well this is my life my life living with HIV its all apart of one I can not separate the two I know there is discrimination I know there is stigma but this is my life. I have been on this earth for 34 years and more than half of that I have lived with this virus and so yes life goes on after HIV and all your other problems are still there your family Issues will be there your obnoxious siblings who think they know what is best for you.Your family will be there through the good and bad And yes I am still trying learning to communicate to my own about everything with out upsetting them you will find in allot of cases this is common families become ever protective especially if you come from a dysfunctional family Dichotomy where the older children took care of the younger children as in my very own family (hence why My sisters act like mothers too me) I do know the why the reason behind everything.
  Yeah I guess what I am saying is when your diagnosed sit with your family talk communicate tell them you are prepared for what comes next not be over worried or overburdened by the situations.just that when you speak to them use kind tones don't lash out cause you will be in my shoes where your not talking to your family and family is extremely important they will be your first lines of support .some days I feel like i lost mine sometimes I feel like i have nothing because i let my anger get the best of me cause I over react allot I am far from perfect I am only human I will only ever be human. So when I Lash out when I get angry at times remember I am just a person a normal feeling person I am just Human. Not super man not Jesus not some holy man but your average human being with human emotions and sometimes I do not know how to deal with them. SO thanks for today thanks for reading thanks for the time to see that life does go on all its mess and problems and know there are healthy solutions and we can all do well if we try. And for those who are Still HIV neg Stay that way Protect yourself protect your partner remember if you love someone you use a condom you don't treat them like a used condom.