Atripla Dream Or Vision I dont know

So it was winter snow all around driving in a caravan up to South Dakota My Family had finally accepted they're Native roots and I was to go into Rabbit lodge to speak to the elders and Hear they're wisdom My beloved Uncle was there My aunts and cousins and my sisters and they're children On the way up there I was driving Bear and Apache my two cousins were in the very Back seat and Jena was in the middle with a bunch of the kids in a big rented Pow wow Van Apache and Bear were being silly saying that old adage are we there yet and I took my eyes off the road and said "NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET" I turned around and lo and behold  haoyolka the elk was there right in front of me with a herd I had no choice but to hit him destroying the front end of the Van but no one was hurt it was a miracle. But there was no room in the other cars fro any of us so we sent the kids off with the rest while we waited for help it didn't take long for a tow truck to get to us and get us to another dealer and into another vehicle we eventually got there but I needed the ceremony more than ever. then I woke up and I decided to shower cause I needed spiritual cleansing I started with my body it scared me it just truly scared me there are other parts of the dream so vivid but I am losing them now I just don't know how to interpret them.
Now I created this blog to help with accepting my HIV and who I am but part of it is the traditional part my native heritage with out which I would not be here today... SO i need to see what comes of this I must ask my beloved elders to confer on this and tell me the meaning so I am going to go into prayer for the love of my family the love of my people for people who suffer with the virus I need to get to the bottom of this so I can finally know I f I am on the right path my dreams are my own and the medication has never taken over before but this time I wonder if the medication just might Have I have come to terms with living with my virus we coexist co habitat in the temporary body of ours but are the medications taking from me that part of my spirit and sullying it. Taking away my dream ability I do not know and it scares me so much Cause I can not live with out my dreams my abilities that I was gifted with my whole life.
yes it scares me but I do want to live does it mean I am a bad person that I would try to keep the gifts I always had that I am selfish in this way I do not know so I will go in to prayer confer with the elders I have come to know those few who I trust. I want to live I need to live I have the desire and will to live. I would do anything to be free of this virus to be just me again but I know the reality is I live with it and I need to just continue to accept it.so till the day come I will educate about everything I know about myu virus and my meds as they come and go hopefully this is a medication dream, and I am not on my way to this folly if so I will be on look out for the signs on the trip I pray for the good to happen now I am going back to bed to try to rest in my restless lonely nights. Love to you all Pielamaya Megwetch and A'ho all who have taken the time to read my dream ramblings