Love and abuse the two don't go together at all

So I got to thinking.Yeah big mistake me thinking rite.Anyway I was thinking how could people benefit from my life.You know well abstinence is the best and safest way to stay virus free but then the use of condoms when your not being abstinent.But then i was thinking there is even more ways Like my life experiences could be helpful.I was in a severely abusive relationship or two and well you can get out you can walk away from that.I have witnessed real miracles in life in my life with my eyes Ive seen love in all its glory.I have longed for it.But i have never found it.does not mean its not there just maybe i been looking in the wrong places.Being abused by my exes and then having them make me feel like it was all my fault Watching my sisters go through relationship after relationship I stop and think that is me too.I find myself thinking i am never going to have that love that honest to goodness love.Just another abusive guy after the next and they find a way to manipulate it so that its all on me.I know what to look for now. there are signs.you can get help even in the gay world you can get help.you have to want it though.You should follow your heart but only if it doesn't cause pain.Life is beautiful it is worth living and living with someone you love.Love is real i know more than anything i know its real I've seen it and i have been through hell and back and i still long for it I still deserve it and so does everyone.Finding yourself though through all the heartbreak and heartache that can be difficult but you can do it and in the end you can be a blessed and happy person I am a blessed and Happy person as well I know i don't need someone to complete me I am a complete person its finding that one person who knows your complete and know that they are complete and well you two mesh.I guess I want that together or separate you compliment each other you are able to feel each other and and know each other faults and all that is beautiful that is love not pain abuse addiction its about two people finding happiness together two different people living and being two people but together. I know there are other ways to learn from me but I'm talking about love today and I think love is out there for all of us and i believe all of us deserve that love.To have someone look at you in that way that says my god your the most beautiful person in the world and I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else that is amazing and beautiful and yes it exist I know it does.You got to work for it sometimes but it is worth it all in the end but keeping your self identity through it all.being two separate people while building a life together through trust honesty and love.